When you first meet them all the horrors that come with addiction remain hidden, behind a locked close door. They are witty, they are funny, they are cute, they are “in control”. The thing is that nobody’s in control of addiction, not even us who don’t do drugs when we crave that cigarette to relax or that mcchicken because we’re stressed, because we reach for it. The truth is within a few months of loving the person who has a drug addiction, you slowly start to see that they are their drug addiction, while every post you read about says different. Keep faith, hold on, they’ll get better. The truth is, I was an addict myself. I was addicted to meth-amphetamine. And let me tell you, I was my addiction. I didn’t want help. I didn’t want to get better. I didn’t like the way I felt, I didn’t like the lifestyle but I also didn’t want to change. With that being said, you cannot hold out for someone to get “better” unless they want too. And loving an addict comes with a price. In my case..?
The price I made those who loved me was, my family had to suffer watching me suffer. I lost my job, so those around me started to take care of me and unknowingly inhibiting themselves from growing. I lost my house so I was intruding on others time and space, and leaving whenever I wanted because… I “needed” to get high, even if that meant finding another new place to crash. I almost lost my relationship, (with another addict, how healthy) because I put my addiction before them, and in turn when I started wanting to heal, all I had taught them from my own actions was that the high comes first. So I struggled to be there for him, and karma came right around and made him struggle to be there for me because we both chose.. our addiction.
Loving an addict is hard. I’m not saying give up, I’m not saying walk away. I’m not saying belittle them or think there isn’t hope. I’m saying know what you’re in for, buck the hell up, stop glorifying addiction, stop belittling those with a problem.
Because the only thing worse that loving an addict, or being an addict,
Is being both.